By Jay Holland – Student and Family Ministries Pastor
What makes students stick with your group?
It’s probably not your flawless theology or the brilliance of your discussion questions.
More often than not, students stay for community — not curriculum.
That’s why if you want real discipleship to happen, you have to build a group that feels like family. Let’s talk about how to do it.
1. Make Sure Everyone Is Known
You can’t belong where you don’t feel seen.
That’s why your first job as a leader isn’t to get students talking about the Bible — it’s to help them feel known by name and by story.
Try these simple strategies:
- Reintroduce often — especially when a new student joins or returns after being gone
- Spotlight one student per week with fun bio questions like:
- “What’s your favorite food?”
- “What’s a hobby or interest you have outside of school?”
- “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
- Use name games or fun memory challenges to keep things fresh
When students feel like people — not just participants — they’re far more likely to show up consistently.
2. Create Consistent Relational Rhythms
Community isn’t built in a big moment — it’s built through small, repeated ones.
Establish rhythms that help your group check in with each other regularly:
- “Highs and lows” from the week
- “God moments” where they saw Him at work
- Weekly prayer updates and follow-up on shared requests
- Celebrating birthdays, answered prayers, sports wins, or major milestones
These relational rituals create predictability, which builds safety, which leads to vulnerability — the soil where growth happens.
Even 5–10 minutes of intentional relational time each week can completely change the tone of your group.
3. Go Beyond Group Time
You want your group to feel like more than just a weekly obligation — you want it to feel like a place they belong.
That kind of belonging often grows outside of small group time.
Some easy ways to build community beyond the circle:
- Host a meal, game night, or movie hangout
- Send a funny meme or encouraging text during the week
- Show up to a student’s performance, game, or big moment
- Grab coffee or breakfast before school with one or two students
- Take attendance — and when someone misses, follow up or have another student reach out
These aren’t “extra credit” moments — they’re relational glue.
When students see that their presence matters and their absence is noticed, they realize: I’m not just part of a group. I’m part of a community.
Bonus Tip:
Make “showing up for each other” part of your group’s identity.
If one student is hurting, celebrating, or taking a risk for Jesus — the group supports them.
- Someone going through a breakup? Pray as a group.
- Someone getting baptized? Show up and cheer.
- Someone inviting a friend for the first time? Welcome them like they’ve been coming for months.
These are the moments that move your group from acquaintances to a spiritual family.
Final Challenge: Don’t Just Lead a Group — Build a Tribe
This week, look for ways to help students feel known, wanted, and remembered.
- Relearn a name.
- Spotlight a student.
- Follow up on a prayer request.
- Plan a hangout outside of group.
- Celebrate something personal.
Because when students find their people, they’re far more likely to find their place in God’s family.
And that’s when small groups become powerful tools of transformation.
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